OK, I know two posts in two days is probably too many, but there's a lot on my mind right now, and typing helps me think so all of you get to deal with the aftermath. (Ha, I got all the forms of to in that sentence without even trying!)
Last week at our biweekly staff meeting (which was actually a curriculum meeting, but same difference) for the opening devotion time, our director asked us a question. How do you see God's love? We were supposed to find a verse or think of a phrase that displayed what God's love was for us. Several people shared about listening to others and bearing their burdens or being present in others lives. But mine (which I didn't share because I'm still a pansy) was more introspective. Much of my life has been lately as I attempt to deal with things I never wanted to think about again, but this question really solidified for me how I view God.
As stated in my last post. I don't do the abstract well. If you give me a set of plans and say, build this thing so it looks like this. I can do that. Heck, if you describe it for me I can probably create anything you'd like. But if you hand me a book of philosophy and say, figure this out and get back to me, I will spend approximately five minutes attempting to solve your problem, and then the book will go in the back of my closet under a pile of clothes I never plan on wearing again and there it will stay until the end of all time. I'm not a deep thinker. Not that I don't have the capacity to chase abstract ideas around in my head for hours on end, but I don't like it. circular reasoning and big ideas with multiple points of view which are all equally valid don't get you anywhere but where you started, and I have more important things to do with my time. Like watch movies and write blog posts.
But God, being the omnipotent and amazing guy that he is, knows how much I can't stand big abstract ideas. Like the future, and goals, so when I was met with the question of how I view His love, He did the one thing He always does when I need him. He grabbed my hand.
Yea, I know that sounds a little crazy, but as I sat and contemplated what words best describe my view of God's core value I didn't get a Bible verse, I got song lyrics. It isn't really a surprise if you know me. Everything around me reminds me of a song or a movie quote. In this case three songs came to mind. Come as You Are, by Pocket Full of Rocks; Hungry, which is my favorite worship song of all time; and Words I Would Say, by Sidewalk Prophets (please note the correct usage of semicolons)
As I wrote out the lyrics to these songs (a thing I do often when I get a song stuck in my head for no apparent reason) I noticed something about them.
Pocket Full of Rocks ends they're second prechorus with the lines "How tenderly He calls you/His arms are open wide" Hungry's second verse is all about running to God while you're broken because not only are His arms open to you, but his touch is life giving. Words I Would Say includes "God's got his hands on you/So don't live life in fear" in the chorus.
I underlined all of the above and a few other lines from those songs and then I sat back and thought about how crazy my life is right now and all the thinking I've been doing. And God wrapped his arms around my shoulders and whispered that everything was going to be ok.
I feel God's love in His touch and in His voice. Because my Heavenly Father knows that I deal much better in the concrete than I do in the abstract. Because God's presence is something that I have to cling to to make it through some of the stuff I'm dealing with like insecurity, and fear. And more importantly, so I know that God is holding me just as tightly. Because sometimes when I fold my hands to pray because I can't think of anything else to do, the hand I'm holding isn't my own, and it's clinging just as hard to me as I am to it and even when I feel like letting go, it doesn't. Because my conversations with Him are some of the most profound even when all I say is, "Sorry I've been gone so long." To which His response is only ever, "I know. Welcome back."
I love the song Hungry, but I've never heard the other two. I'll have to look into fixing that. Especially after reading the lines you've underlined. And I love the way you describe praying, because I'd never thought of it that way, but it's really so true.
ReplyDeleteI also love that A) you got all forms of to into that sentence, and B) that you mentioned it.