Hey guys, long time no blog. In the course of the monthish since I last wrote on this (or maybe it was only a few weeks, time seems to be moving simultaneously slower and faster than it's supposed to) a million things I should write about on here have happened to me. I planned a sweet vacation that I'll wait to write about til I get back. I officially got into grad school as a fullfledged Masters student (I register the 12th!) and I finished the Hugner Games Trilogy in 5 days, inbetween driving to Auburn for a voice lesson, babysitting, and driving back to Auburn for a family barbeque.
I'll get to all of that excitement, but first I'd like to write about a thought that's been buzzing around in my head for the last few days that needs an escape.
My weekly voice lessons with my aunt are usually a couple hours long. Partially because it still takes me about an hour to warm up, and then we get to the singing part, but mosty because the breaks we take when my jaw, throat, or abs get tired tend to be long because we both like to talk and we find each other's thoughts interesing.
I don't remember how we got on the subject, or what followed it, but a comment she made about accountaibility struck a chord and caused me to pause. She said she always appreciated the word accountability, but once it became a word to describe keeping another person accountable rather than yourself she'd stopped using it.
What gave me pause was that I had grown up assuming that's what that word meant. We learned all teh time at church about keeping each other accountable. Accountable for keeping up with reading and prayer life, accountable in relationships with one another. Accountable for actions that weren't necessarily obviously wrong to the person who had commited them, but could gently be brought to their attention anyway. The funny thing is, I've never liked the definition I'd grown up with either. It constantly brought on a stream of questions about who I was to tell other people what to do, which then brought up the question of how to show and tell them about the way Christ wants us to live without sound judgemental or condemning the person rather than the act you have issue with.
Back in the old days, before I had to battle with the idea that my Christian friends who also happen to be gay were somehow living wrong, and for some reason it was the church's job to fix it, or I lost one of my best friends to a moment of anger directed at her instead of my confusion about what accountability actually means, I probably would have argued for keeping other people accountable. That Christ calls us to it, because I'd grown up assuming he does. Now, with a year of living basically on my own, and several years of wrestling with what it means to be a sister in a family that spreads across generations continents, I stop to think about my slipping conviction on the issue.
So I think back to all I can rememeber from the Gospels I've read pieces of so many times and all the way through over the course of several months back in high school. And I ask the age old question that society is sick of hearing, but with a little twist of my own. What Did Jesus Do? Not what would he do now, which is far easier to twist into something that fits our needs more precisely than it should. What DID he do. How did he act? When did he call people out, and when did he stay silent? When did he make a move, and when did he let the faith of others create the miracles they begged him for? When did he hold people accountable for their actions, and when did he defend people against acts of injustice and incorrect doctrine?
I would have to go back and read to be sure, but my answer as far as I can remember (and I have a pretty good retention rate) is when they asked him to. Jesus is constantly plagued by people asking him, which is the right way to live? How do I get to heaven? What's in this for me? It's true that often times these questions were meant to trick him into saying something that went against the church and therefore God (funny how often we view those two as the same thing) but some people legitimately wanted to know. The rich young ruler is sent away because he can't give up his wealth. Another man because he can't give up the traditions surrounding the burial of his father. The sadducees and pharisees asked all kinds of questions about the law, and Jesus pointed out exactly where and how they were wrong. Everytime. Because they ask him to. And it was those people that Christ rebukes, sends away, and avoids.
But the worst sinners. The people who don't know the laws, people who's laws are different, people who just plain don't care about breaking it, people who can't afford not to. Those are the people to whom Jesus shows only compassion and grace. Their sins are forgiven. Their wounds and ailments are healed. Their children and servants are made whole simply because they knew Jesus could do it. To those people Jesus shows kindness and compassion and grace becuase that's what they ask for, whether it's with words or actions because society has silenced thier voices. They aren't held accountable. Not in the way the rich and the powerful are.
Because it woudn't work? Because they're worldview is too different from that the strict Jews adhere to? Because kindness is a far better teacher than fear and anger? Because the young woman who slept with someone else's husband deserves a chance at life to? Because the lepers and beggers too beat down or sick to function in society should be taken care of? Because a centurian man who has never adhered to a strict diet or working hours or number of gods he should believe in can believe better in the power of Jesus than an entire group of people that have spent centuries pouring over text that speak of his coming?
Or is it something far bigger than that? A forest of wisdom that we constantly miss for the tiny nuggest of knowledge the tress possess. That Jesus typically does what he's asked. That he explains to those who demand explanation, whether or not it's soemthing they want to hear. That he pours grace and hope and love onto people who are too broken and condemend to even try to ask for it themselves, though the yearning in their hearts is clear.
Brings a whole new meaning to knock and you shall recieve.
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